Suatu Hari Nanti Aku Akan Menangis....

Salam,
...satu entry yg agak depressing...

1. Skang ni dah 3 minggu lebih dah lepas raya. Tapi aku belum call Malaysia lagi!!

2. Chill la. Raya kan sebulan.

3. Aku mmg cengini. Manusia yg bangsat.

4. Agak2 engkorang, berapa kali setahun aku berusaha angkat fon dan call Malaysia "sendiri"? ZERO. Biasanya bini aku yg call mak aku pastu passing kat aku.
Takpon mak aku yg call aku! Muahahhaha. Last aku cakap ngan mak aku, mungkin May this year kot.

5. Bila last aku cakap ngan "ayah" aku dlm phone? Entah. Aku dah lupa. Maybe early last year kot.
Bila last aku cakap ngan adik beradik aku dalam phone? Err.....Never. Email? Never. SMS? Never. Kad Raya? Never ever. Skype? Hotak engkau!

6. Aku hanya cakap ngan diorg masa jumpa bila balik Msia je. Last aku balik Msia August last year. Balik sehari setengah.

7. Mak mertua? Errr...bila di paksa bini, adalah setahun 2 kali kot.

8. Mak Pak aku pon dah paham perangai aku. Call bila ada hal penting or problem je. Bila nak britau diorang dah dapat cucu sorang lagi. Takpon, paling biasa, bila nak mintak pulus! Tapi skang ni aku dah stabil skit, tak perlu dah lah mayday Bank Negara.

9. So will aku call Mak Pak aku utk ucapkan Selamat Hari Raya dan mintak maaf? Err....Yes,... but belum sampai seru lagi ni.
Bini aku pon dah cakap 2 kali ngan mak aku slepas raya. Mak aku kim salam kat aku dua kali dah ni!
Will I call adik beradik aku? Nope. Jgn harap. Buat hapa.

10. Aku tau ramai drp ngkorang tgh geleng2 kepala skang ni. Bini aku dah geleng2 kepala dah sebelas tahun dah! Aku tak heran pon. Gelenglah kau sampai kiamat.
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So What The Fuck Is Wrong With Me

1. NOTHING!
2. So, what the fuck is wrong with you (engkorang) then?
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My Normal Family.

1. Korang jgn silap paham pulak. Di antara kiatorag adik beradik dan ayah aku, takde gaduh sikit habuk pon. We all love each other and willing to do anything for each other. I will fly home in a second, if they need me.

2. Tapi mmg kitaorang ni di besarkan as gini. As lelaki kot. Kitaorang agak keras. Gaduh mulut, maki, ejek dan bertumbuk bersepak tiap2 hari sampai lebam, berdarah, berjahit. Mana main jiwang2. Effeknya, bila dah besar ni, kitaorg tak gaduh dah. Dah puas dah gaduh masa kecik2 dulu.

3. Segalanya di internalized. We never expressed any feelings. Bila sekor2 masuk asrama, we don't cry. We never celebrate birthday. We don't mind. Kalau sesape done well in studies/apa2, kitaorang just tepuk2 bahu dan angguk2 paham sesama sendiri je gitu.

4. Bermaaf-maafan di hari raya, is in silence. Mintak maaf dlm hati. Salam tangan je dah kira setel. Sempoi.

5. And we are all very good with goodbye. Drpd zaman asrama, hinggalah sekarang. Bila mak pak aku hantar aku pergi airport, lepas check-in je, diorang terus chow. Tak dok lama2. Tunggu lama2, will not change the outcome pon kan?

6. We don't linger. We don't dwell.
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Tips on Goodbye.

1. Goodbye is easy. To me, "Goodbye means death". You are dead. Nice to know you. Goodluck in your journey. I will remember you. But I will not be sad. All the cries in this world will not change the inevitable. That you are gone.

2. Aku dah dok sini 16 tahun. Kau tau dak berapa ramai org aku dah antar balik kat airport? All my best friends. Team mates.

2006 Last time hantar org kat AIRPORT LAMA adeled. Tgk Muhammad besar mana...

2007 skang ni tinggal 2 org je kat sini...

Ringgo, manusia yg paling tak leh belah pon sudah belah!

Mus pon belah......bersama harapan utk kami menang Melben Cup lagi!

Andy Lau said peace!..Abes la amoi Ipoh pasnih.

3. Goodbye paling pahit in my life is bila aku kene tinggalkan Muhammad (my son) di Malaysia bila dia umur 5 tahun gitu. First time in his life that I will not be around.

4. I know it will be easy for me. But not to him. So, aku tinggalkan baju aku yg dah pakai untuk dia peluk cium kalau rindu. It works. Smell can cure rindu.

5. Bila aku jumpa dia balik about 4 months later, everything has changed. I guess I was scarred internally. I cannot be as close to him as before. He realized that. He said to his mum.
" Papa used to be the best dad in the world. But he isnt anymore..."

6. My wife was so sad. But me? Shit. I told him
" Muhammad. You are a big boy now. Grow-up!"
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One day I will cry.....

1. Aku pernah terbaca status jiwang di fesbuk.
" If you love someone, tell them before its too late"

2. No doubt, its a copy paste. But its very meaningful nevertheless.

3. So I know and I admit, that one Raya morning, I will be crying on the corner of the cemetery, when I go to visit my parent's graves.

4. Thinking, why o why, didn't I come back more often or settle back in Malaysia.

5. Because........damn! What a loser I am.

6. If only i knew........................ ................... ....................................... ............................................... .............. ...................... .......... .............................. .......... .................. ..................... ........................... that there's a lot of gorgeous chick on that raya morning visiting the cemetery.

7. But then, I will be too old to tekel them la.

8. Uwaaaaaa...uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.....What a wasted opportunity. How I have wasted my youth overseas. Minah Salleh bosan la. Haweks Students, limited options. For years I have seen male students battling only for scraps.

9. Luckily I will be nyanyok at that time and forgot my own age.

"Kamon adik manis. Kamon gojes cikaros. Come and follow Uncle...opss.... Abang balik to Australia. Sapa pernah naik Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder angkat tangan?"

Sekian, mekasey, wassalam.